Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Con-Slut-Ant!!!!

I am into a profession that a lot of you corporate friggin da-ba-doos may hate. The thespian with a million more melodramatic species from the planet of Ummo have been bitched about in one corporate lifetime or the other.

I tell you what you already know. And guess what, I charge every nasal inch, of the same nose through which you pay. So while I dart around the corridors of my hallowed portals, with that smug smile, I know that every mortal that I have served must have imploded his head with the same question “Why on Jupiter did he let his monetary reserves deflate”.

Yea, I am a consultant. I have no religion. I belong to the union of all those deified aliens who sermonize their heart out and make the corporate wheels rolling. Yeah right!! ;).

So when I landed in West Asia( and not the middle east as the yankees refer to it), I let the wheel rolling of many industries and sectors. And well, it was William Henry “Bill” Gates III who though born 55 years ago (He turns 56 this 28th October: Happy Birthday Billy! J ), made the world a worse place, especially for tyros, just out of college.

And well, it is not about the skills you have. They jargonize it using those lame HR terms: Hard Skills & Soft Skills.

As a greenhorn into this world, it’s not the hard skills, soft skills; it’s the MICRO-Soft skills you require. And it’s got nothing to do with how oober super micro mini you can get in your attempt at softening you soft skills.

It’s how you deal with those sermons presented in MICRO-Soft copy. And you format them until the sermon and its (non) content plead mercy. And you format them until the genes of Linus Torvalds start untwining and Billy adds another million dollar to his inflated reserves and dethrone Warren Buffet, who is wobbling on the hill top already ;) .

And guess what, all these demi-gods, including me, hate it. It feels like your fucking bones have gone bad and sore. The blood is fucking intoxicated.

But well, I sing along with Paul Evans “ Ha Ha Happy Go Lucky Me”.

So it’s all nice and wonderful as it always has been. And I love my job. Absolutely do. And the people. And the place.So before some of you accuse me of being a part of the jittery crib fest, I am not. We all are, in some ways. But well, we all need to chin up, and worship Paul Evans :P .

Cheers to the last few months and the ones that lie ahead!

Adios

2 comments:

Vinni said...

u derive inspiration from dogbert. read the BCW series on my blog.

EXzombie said...

welcome to Safat

 

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