Con-Slut-Ant!!!!

I am into a profession that a lot of you corporate friggin da-ba-doos may hate. The thespian with a million more melodramatic species from the planet of Ummo have been bitched about in one corporate lifetime or the other.

I tell you what you already know. And guess what, I charge every nasal inch, of the same nose through which you pay. So while I dart around the corridors of my hallowed portals, with that smug smile, I know that every mortal that I have served must have imploded his head with the same question “Why on Jupiter did he let his monetary reserves deflate”.

Yea, I am a consultant. I have no religion. I belong to the union of all those deified aliens who sermonize their heart out and make the corporate wheels rolling. Yeah right!! ;).

So when I landed in West Asia( and not the middle east as the yankees refer to it), I let the wheel rolling of many industries and sectors. And well, it was William Henry “Bill” Gates III who though born 55 years ago (He turns 56 this 28^th October: Happy Birthday Billy! J ), made the world a worse place, especially for tyros, just out of college.

And well, it is not about the skills you have. They jargonize it using those lame HR terms: Hard Skills & Soft Skills.

As a greenhorn into this world, it’s not the hard skills, soft skills; it’s the MICRO-Soft skills you require. And it’s got nothing to do with how oober super micro mini you can get in your attempt at softening you soft skills.

It’s how you deal with those sermons presented in MICRO-Soft copy. And you format them until the sermon and its (non) content plead mercy. And you format them until the genes of Linus Torvalds start untwining and Billy adds another million dollar to his inflated reserves and dethrone Warren Buffet, who is wobbling on the hill top already ;) .

And guess what, all these demi-gods, including me, hate it. It feels like your fucking bones have gone bad and sore. The blood is fucking intoxicated.

But well, I sing along with Paul Evans “ Ha Ha Happy Go Lucky Me”.

So it’s all nice and wonderful as it always has been. And I love my job. Absolutely do. And the people. And the place.So before some of you accuse me of being a part of the jittery crib fest, I am not. We all are, in some ways. But well, we all need to chin up, and worship Paul Evans :P .

Cheers to the last few months and the ones that lie ahead!

Adios

Blue Jays

It's about the jays. The blues and the beautiful blue jays.
The Jays are the Js I know. Joni Mitchell. Joan Baez. Janis Joplin. The female Js trio of the 70s. Haven't I adored each one of them. And its something about the blues and the jays. Not that it's sine waving off the human trail and fad. Neither is it the inkling of human life left in itself. It's something about them. It is probably because of Me and Bobby Scottish Mc Gee. Or the veteran sermon having seen love from both sides. It ain't me babe.
Some years ago,when I realized that the gush of hormones has slowed down in the body, this one song stuck in my playlist. This song has suddenly gotten back into the list again. And yesterday, it was my player that hung up on these last lines, as if it was some cosmos conspiracy to crop the lines out.

Now you're telling me
You're not nostalgic
Then give me another word for it
You who are so good with words
And at keeping things vague
Because I need some of that vagueness now
It's all come back too clearly
Yes I loved you dearly
And if you're offering me diamonds and rust
I've already paid.

Here is to the three ladies I absolutely love and adore.

Bongindo-Voyage

So it was supposed to cleanse me. Cathartic Trips they call it yea?

It was a trip that began with me walking into a year shorter than a quarter. The abscission from my previous year was something that I didn’t want. Though towards the end, it was bitter and quite acerbic, I still have loved every bit of it. The largess would be an international job and a lady from the darker side.

Though the job remains very international the lady remains on the darker side of the world, irrespective of time zones and distance that don’t quite separate the two. The usual tyranny of the “Pain Clan” post the lost battles of life and love keep haunting the mortals across the “Foe-cean”.

The demotic tendencies, the wannabes achieving the demi-god status, the damsels trying to look for gold on the outset, the zephyr that blows the life out of walking zombies, the institutionalization of no-names, the sleep lost over naming it and walking beyond the lines that make you trip bad and hard. The willingness to lose it in the middle of those dark nights and the futility of it all, between the lines of fear and blame on lonely days. The (un)foreseeable future, the burdens of the past, the wonder of memories. I have always loved Julie Delphy in her magical attempt at saying memories would have been a wonderful thing if you didn’t have to deal with the past.

This abstract part is for A.

Airbourne. Indian Soil. Cognate Couples. Homogeneous Existence. Instant Gratification. Disparate Visuals. Wonder World. Bodies in Wonderland. Spinning the wheedle. Fight for Might. Shards of snippets. Sheikhs of Arabia. CEO from Amritsar. Maggi. China Gate. Castrol. Nirvana. Calvin Klein. Provogue. Indigo Nation. Cool Cabs. Motorola. N 98. Images. Rains. Mumbai. Phonix Mills still rising. Zodiac. Inspirations. Exclusions. Scrubs. Baadi. Dada n Didi. Wiseling wannabes. Bade Miyan. Theobroma. Hazelnut Choclates. Marine Drive. Birthdays and bumps that follow. Bangali. Durga Pujo. Bhog.Payesh. Chatni. Khichudi. Dhonuchi Naach. Notun Jaama Kapod. Dhaaker Awaaj. Maaer Ranna. Hilish Maach. Sourav Ganguly.

Though parts of the above section is only meant for the bong souls, the rest is very much Indian and possibly Chhattisgarhi too( Sable Badhiya ;) )

Though the words above don’t quite sum up my India trip, still captures quite a bit of it. Though I am not looking forward to a trip in the near future, I don’t repent this one either. A trip that taught me a few lessons, the hard way and pushed me out of an existence that could pass easily off as a good excuse for a wreck.

I thank my $irajs©.

Inshallah, I would have another one of these. Till then, Cheers.